Brain Cramp and Heart Hiccup

Wow.  I am sorry folks.  Yesterday was just one of those perfect emotional storm kind of days.  My brain cramped and my heart hiccupped and I spewed a few weeks worth of stress onto virtual paper.  I am sorry if I worried you.  I just needed to release some emotional pressure...kind of like when a toddler throws a temper tantrum before having a breakthrough like walking by herself for the first time!  Let's hope I am on the verge of something good!

So what say we play a game and lighten things up:)

As a part of my foreign language training, I watch TV.  You would be surprised at the number of American TV shows on French TV.  Soap Operas, Classic Nick at Night material and some pretty current series, albeit about two to four seasons behind our schedule back home.  I usually watch the shows in French with French subtitles on...and since many of the shows are repeats for me, I already have the backstory, and can focus on the language.  It is funny...some things just don't translate.

I am going to give you a list of American TV shows by their French titles and you see how many you can figure out...btw, I have NOT watched all of these, I have just seen them listed on the program guide!!
The first one is a gimmee:

Dr. House       

Le prix juste

Mon Oncle Charlie

Papa Schultz

Les Experts

New York District: Manhattan

Urgences

I'll post the answers to these later. Feel free to post your responses at the end of the blog or on face book!

My favorite French TV show is Un Diner Presque Parfait.    Loosely translated this means a near perfect dinner...I don't know if there is a colloquialism that better explains it, but you get the gist.

The premise of this "game" show is  five regular folks from a selected town, city or region compete against each other to create the perfect dinner party.  Each contestant is featured one night during the week, so each "episode" takes five nights to conclude.  Contestants vary in age, gender, economic status, etc but they all love food and entertaining!  Each contestant must develop a menu, a party theme or ambiance, and decorate to enhance the experience.  The other contestants then come to the host's home and "party".  Each of the guests then judge the host on the three areas (food, ambiance, decor) using a scale of 0-10!

I have seen a pattern emerge and I liken the five contestants to characters from Gilligan's Island.  There always seems to be a goof like Gilligan, a know it all/Professor-type, a combo of the Howells, a nurturing type like Marianne and of course the chic Ginger, skinny, pretty and dressed to the nines...and surprisingly often one of the better cooks...I guess it is the attention to detail.  Sorry, little buddy, no Skipper, usually.

Another plot twist added is the fact that the contestants do not know who is hosting the event until they arrive by chauffeured car to the home.  Earlier in the day a menu card is delivered to each guest and the host gives clues to that night's dinner and the guests try to figure out the meal, theme and host's identity...tres drole!

Each contestant has one day to shop, prepare the meal, decorate and generally pull it all together before the guests arrive at 7pm.  For the most part, unless the meal is really dreadful, the Monday host usually gets good marks because they have the least amount of "head" time to prep and the guests, not having anything to compare the meal to, tend to be kind and supportive...but watch out, by Wednesday, the gloves are off and things get dicey! It is funny, but the nuturing Marianne/mommy type, who usually gets the early start in the week tends to be the harshest with criticism by mid-week!  And the Friday host tends to get pretty picky early on.

So as the program goes and I guess this is somewhat reflective of entertaining at home in France, the menu starts with an aperitif...usually a beverage and some sort of amuse bouche that wakes up your appetite. Depending on the host, next could come the entree (first course) or the party/ambience piece!  I have seen adults paint birdhouses, sing karioke, fish for ping pong balls from a baby pool, as well as fake sword fights, go cart races and last night, a course in avalanche rescue...all as the entertainment for the parties!  After the "fun"  the meal continues with the entree in a formal dining setting.

The decor is a huge critical piece. As many a chef will tell you, you first eat with your eyes...metaphorically speaking...and the table setting can make or break the mood.  If the decor is too simple you are doomed to a low score...over the top may get a good score, or back down to the bottom if it is seen as gauche or gawdy!  Scores on decor can be impacted by factors like, someone hates the color, or heaven forbid, spots on the glasses...flowers and bougies (candles) are a must.  I have seen people decorate with children's toys, colored glass beads, a model sail boat and sports equiptment  Flags are big too...whatever the host thinks best represents their theme!

The repast continues with the plat or main meal, and concludes with dessert.  Dessert had better be something special because in addition to being the last part of the evening's competition, the French don't mess around with their sweets.  No store bought desserts;  a platter of cookies, heaven forbid...dessert should be a gastronmic feat or off with your head. Throughout the meal, comments and critique are offered, mostly with backhanded compliments!  Rarely, but it has happened, I have seen people spit out the food...oh, la, la (not a good thing).

Throughout the party, guests can go off to another room to offer private comments on their experiences thus far.  What makes me laugh EVERY time is that 99% of the time, the camera for this little triste is set up in the host's bathroom and the guest is sitting on the toilet (not using it!!!!) offering the "real poop" on their experience.  Oh the French... such a subtle people.

As the night draws to a close, around 11:30 pm or so, sometimes the host tries to butter up the guests with a parting gift or a prize if there was a competition as the entertainment and the guests head off to their separate rides.  In the cars, the guests select "le note", or a numbered card to grade each of the three aspects of the meal and offer the reasons for the grades.  Then the grades are averaged and posted for us lucky viewers so we can keep score throughout the week.  The process is repeated over the next four nights and then after the last party, the scores which have not been shared with the each other, are revealed and the winner gets one thousand euros and usually four new friends. 

As far as teaching me about culture and the language, the show, with its real life conversation, interesting topics and quirkiness is presque parfait pour moi!.